Is it a far-fetched reality?

The road to true love is narrow and almost impossible. It is full of windy roads and highways, some leading to dead ends and some to glimpses of paradise. The pavements are slippery and tricky, the rules are overturned and the vehicles are all different.

There is no formula and no definite path to take. Every turn is a risk. Every block a challenge. Every corner a chance to get hurt. The sad and equally elating part of it, is that you just end up with a resolve to go with it, no matter what the cost. Admittedly, opening your heart to someone you don't even know if it's worth it all.

Yes, there's something special about him and you know it. There's something in him that kept you captured. He's just that one person. And sometimes you wonder why? What does he have that others don't have? Is it his smile? His lips? His eyes? His quietness and depth? His unuttered words you wish to unravel? His thoughts you want to decipher? What is it? It keeps you marveling..

But then you slightly switch to the dream that maybe, just maybe, he likes you as much as you like him too. This is not just one-sided. All your life, it has been hard to believe that someone you like will actually turn your way and really "see" you. But now, it might just come true! Will he really fit in the picture of your grand love story?

It's fascinating to believe that one person was born to make your heart beat faster. How he's been wired to find you among this human-swarmed planet. Isn't it nice to dwell on the fantasy that he will sweep you off your feet someday? Or this is just a far-fetched reality?

Vulnerability

I hate it! I feel vulnerable again, I don't want to write so honestly about this because it's embarrassing how I can be so weak when it comes to situations where someone is somehow about to/seem to/like to pursue me. I know right? Some girls might be fawning over this opportunity, but sadly I don't share the enthusiasm. Especially, if this aspiring man's totally wrong for me!!! Maybe I'm just easy to please? Or that I'm not so choosy with external stuff? I really don't know!! Standards, God's standards for my life, specifically my love life should apply too! No great effort should persuade me to be swayed from this standard HE has set for me. I even think I'm just overreacting here, because still, my feelings are far from getting me committed to anyone right now.

Perhaps, I am in love with the idea of being pursued by a real man. Someone who'll sweep me off my feet, who'll cherish and make every effort to show me how he feels. Most importantly, someone who'll love JESUS more than anything.

Someone asked me today if my religion only permits me to have a Christian boyfriend and I answered, "Actually it's not required, but more of a personal decision". Indirectly, I explained it in a general perspective but truthfully, I would have rather said, "It's not about my religion, it's about what I know would please God, that leads me to prefer having a boyfriend who shares my love for Jesus". But I know that would totally weird him out that's why I just settled for a general answer.

It's hard sometimes, to be pushed or invited into a situation that makes me feel vulnerable. Sometimes the feel of it, the emotions that mix me up, and the desire to be loved muddles my head and makes my resolve less stronger than before. But to no avail! I choose to be firm and wouldn't risk compromising. My life is not my own anymore, there's someone larger than my life, and I have to press on to please HIM.

When He says "NO"

This year has been really exhilarating for me. I became more driven, more purpose-filled, more happy, more grounded, more tested, and definitely more challenged than ever before. Now, it's October, down to the last quarter of the year, and I can't believe that months just flew so fast. Looking back, I always felt that everything was always a "YES" for me, the tests I took, the jobs I applied for, almost all the major career steps I made was to my favor. This year's a different story though:

THE NOTABLE "NO" MOMENTS OF THIS YEAR:

1. My great Australian dream
I started out this year feeling so sure of my plans for my life. I was so confident that everything would run smoothly and that I'd be there early this year for work. Then, there were some major changes that took place in their nursing council that's why my application got held up. Since then, I had to wait for their updates, but to my dismay, almost had none that counts. Truthfully, the wait is excruciating and almost unbearable. Not to mention the reality that my parents had their hopes up for this job (needing the financial support), which basically made me feel like a disappointment to them.

2. The rejection
I was given an offer to apply for a contact center recently. Before, I had many hesitations to apply for this job because first, it might risk my chances of going abroad (they prefer ongoing clinical work), and second, because I had doubts if this job was really for me. But because I really wanted to help my family out and wanted to be more financially stable, I ended up applying. Yesterday, I received the results and it turned out that I was totally declined by the employer because of something I said during the interview.


I didn't write this because of self-pity and depression. But rather, I want to highlight these experiences, to emphasize the fact that in some way or another, we will all experience failures and disappointments. At first, it made me sad and hopeless, but then I realized what God was really telling me in these situations. He said "NO" because there's something better out there for me and not because He just wants to put me down.

There are reasons behind every rejection and His will is always perfect in His own time.

On the other hand, before I found out the decision about my application yesterday, I prayed hard for God to show me and block out the opportunities that were not really for me. And sure enough, He responded accurately! Surprisingly, I didn't feel any hurt or disappointment, but the opposite, I actually felt thankful that He didn't let me go through something that I shouldn't get into.

God answers! If you just ask and pray.

The turning point of my life?

IT'S NOT MY PLANS, BUT HIS PLANS THAT WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL.

That's the main lesson for me this year. More importantly, throughout all these moments, God taught me how to be stronger and how to be humble. He made me realize that I'm not a big shot, that I'm just the same as everybody else, and that it's only Him who controls everything.

Plight to Platonic Friendship

Everything was brought to the open. He's not so much as an "emotions" person, he really tries to hide it most of the time. Sometimes I feel a mask is always upfront. But he claimed that I was the one closest to him. That I know him the most, he said. I was perplexed though, relieved in the same sense, that he thinks of that. How odd, I thought he always kept secrets and just lets it creep out momentarily. I was important he said and he confessed his feelings, which was like almost 3 years delayed. And finally, he said what he was after in this relationship. FRIENDSHIP. Despite the fact that he gives mixed signals before, that he seems to care a tad little more about my romantic experiences and that he's not the type that when we're together, I can totally let my guard down as I would with a "super" friend.

He said I was his only "BESTFRIEND" ever. Hmmm... that's a first. I never felt that, but hey, he's just that way, not letting everyone in. So it was like lifting a HUGE, i mean HUMONGOUS boulder out of my shoulders. CLARITY is important right? Now I can put my guard down. Now I can breathe normally around him, because I already know we're just friends. He said he liked me a lot, but doesn't trust himself to pursue me, 'coz he's still not totally over his "player" potential. He doesn't want to lose me, he said. I really appreciated it, that he respects me. He really turned out to be a real friend over the years, regardless of the attraction between us.

I told him to drop the mixed signals, to never go beyond the boundaries of friendship in all aspects, even in words. Currently, it's about our "PLIGHT TO PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP", hope someday I can return the favor of calling him my REAL friend (meaning no romanticism involved) and maybe even recognize him as a best friend too. It's really going to be a challenge to shift gears here, c'mon! But I will do it. Not because I was hurt that he didn't pursued me, but because it will basically let go of a lot of complications in my life. I really need to focus on more important things right now, like GOD and what He wants me to do. There are seasons and timing for everything. Now is plainly, not the time for that. I'll get there when it's time. :)

Hope

"Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
For I will yet praise Him,
My Savior and my God"
Psalm 42:5-6

Our physical strength may fail us. We may be sick and there are going to be times when we will feel weak.

Our emotional being may be so gloomy and so disturbed that we can't even think straight anymore.

Our life may be in a mess. A trap that holds us and binds us from total freedom. Everything may be wrong at the moment and you don't know how to escape and how to go on.

You may be on the verge of giving up right now, but the word of GOD says that we should put our HOPE in HIM who already overcame the world, past, present and forever. He's the only One we can hold on to, the only One we can depend on. Let go and let God take the reins, let Him be God.

Lovestruck

I just finished a LOT of romance movies lately, and it's been really overwhelming my head. LOVE, a many splendid things, just like how it was said in Moulin Rouge. It's a way of life. Everyone, one way or another deals with it, feels it, hurts because of it and sometimes even feels trashed being controlled by it.

LOVE is inevitable. It's like the air brushing over your face. Like the sand that never fades in the beach. Like the clouds that hovers above in the sky. It's something unseen. It's a personal experience. It's one thing you own. People always try to define it without even capturing the true essence of its existence. It's like pain in so many ways, no one can ever dictate you how to feel LOVE.. until you experience it yourself. It nullifies mistakes, justify actions, and explains madness. It makes you plunge into something you've never thought about first. Sometimes it's more emotions than sanity. For some, it's their anchor, one thing they constantly hold on to for survival. It complicates things and makes you feel extraordinary. It makes you human.

It never chooses. It just flares up sometimes. It's even inconvenient in so many ways than one. It drives you. It inspires you. It puts a smile to your face. Some days, it makes you want to throw up. Bad relationship? It makes you put up with sacrifice, loneliness and even violence in some people.

In reality, it gets distorted sometimes. It becomes an obsession. It becomes your purpose. You forget yourself and get to do stupid things sometimes. It overrides backgrounds, bad images and opposing parents. You feel on edge and dangerous sometimes. You feel rebellious and it somehow makes you alive for the very first time in your life. It's exhilarating. It's wonderful.

But enough with my brave attempt to describe how love unfolds for some people. It'll be a breath of fresh air knowing from the expert of LOVE:


"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

It's gonna be really hard following this guideline. But knowing from the truth will actually make your LOVE more authentic. It will count for more. It will radically change your life. It will start to mean more than before. It will make it more exciting, dynamic and fresh. It's a process and it's a challenge. More importantly, it will help your LOVE gain "FOREVER".

One Way

yeah i know it’s one way.. you don’t have to rub it in. this is not the right time to be out-of-focus, so i guess i’ll just slowly withdraw. this may weird you out, but i really don’t have any responsibility to explain to you. things don’t really go as they seem.

The wrong side of you

I don't know what you're thinking,
I don't know what you mean.
When you blurt words out with having,
Ambiguity between.

You say one thing,
You do the other,
I can't seem to comprehend.
If sincerity's really in there,
Or just another tale you tell.

You make me feel you like me,
You make me feel I'm missed.
But in the end, you make me feel
T'was just momentary bliss.

Make me see the bright light,
Of what's truly real to you.
That I may go beyond the breach,
Beneath the wrong side of you.

Breakthroughs

BLESSINGS! BLESSINGS!
So many things I want to thank about! Though sometimes there are stuff going on that are not good, I still continue to be thankful because despite problems, I am still blessed.

1. Small Group (victory group)
Just last month we had the "One" Series at church which basically propelled church members to step forward, be a disciple, make a disciple and start a small group. I started a small group and poof! The next thing I knew, from 2 members only, it grew to 7 members! I was really surprised last Sunday when I led my small group and we practically filled 2 tables. It never fails to make me smile whenever I remember that sight.

2. Transformation
Everyone's a work in progress, I, myself, included. It just amazes me how God is really not satisfied of just letting me be, He allows both good and bad things to happen to me to test my character. To make me realize important things, especially factors in my life I have to submit and let Him be in control of. Sometimes I feel sad and disappointed in myself for my failures and flaws, but at the end of the day, I am glad, because I know there's always room for change. I am expectant of how HE will continue to transform me into a better person.

3. Family
This one gets me so high! Finally, my family's regularly attending church!!! Although my little sis' still not consistent and my ate just attended once. I am in faith that it's just a matter of time. Prayer works!! My parents are getting active and now, they both have their own small groups and both are going through 1 to 1. I get so ecstatic when I see them reading their bibles. GOD You are faithful as always!


These are just some of the things I am so thankful of. No matter what, when someday I'll be downcast and dragged because of pain or suffering, I'll always look back to how GOD worked in my behalf. How HE stands with me no matter what.

FREE MUSIC AND EBOOKS =D - free music's Blog

just got favorite ebooks from this site!!! OMG, i'm so excited.. love books!!!


FREE MUSIC AND EBOOKS =D - free music's Blog

Pressure

I feel the pressure!!!
Sometimes it gets to me...
I just shut my mouth on other occasions,
Sometimes I rationalize,
You shouldn't expect me to jump in a situation,
That I know is not right for me.
For the sake of wealth and prosperity.
I don't want to settle for less.
I also don't like being a pushover.
I'm an adult, I know how life works.
If I don't work, I'll starve
I also know that I'm not rich
Seriously...
I know I still have nothing much to offer.
I still don't have much.
Still can't support as much as I would want to.
But I love you.
I'll get there.
I'm willing.
To help, to provide, to give.
But now..
I'm doing my best.
I know sometimes I fail you.
You say I'm irresponsible.
But I will be responsible.
Greater is in me than that of in the world.
I am a work in progress.
I will change for the better.

Dating

Just finished watching "The Back-Up Plan" with J.Lo and Alex Loughlin as lead stars. A good movie!! Wow! Stan (Alex) really loved Zoe (J.Lo)!!! Enough, that he took the responsibility of the twins Zoe was carrying in her womb. Maybe when it's love, it's love! Just going mushy here.. haha.

Love thoughts (not the platonic kind), running through my mind. Just finished a korean "love comedy" series yesterday that's why I'm so into the "love mood". Anyway, I've always been a hopeless romantic, always a fan of love stories and happy endings. Though some, choose to be negative about true love, I've never been one of them. I always believed in it. One man that will sweep you off your feet! Just wait for that person God has designed to be with you..

Before, I was also caught with the "dating scene" and "playing the field" season. I just had 1 boyfriend ever, that's why I felt I needed to have more boyfriends, so that I can gain more experiences in the love department. Thank God, I've never been the "player" kind, I love being single and never understood why people turned out to depend wholly to their partners for support. But there was a time in my life that I dated, for no reason at all. But eventually, it never worked out for me, since I'm the steady-kind-of-girlfriend type. Maybe, before, I can put on the act of being cool and not so serious when it comes to relationships, but I guess the the truth just went shining through.

Well, now, I've learned my lesson. I've made mistakes before. After a time, I began to resent dating. It was such a waste of time and effort. I didn't really get to know the guys I've dated and they really turned me off because they expected too much from me!!! You know what I mean.. that was when I thought, "are all men like this?". Good thing I was never clingy and was always independent. I don't need a man if I know that he's not really the one for me.

And then.. I MET GOD. The only one I needed to fill the empty void in me. I had to unlearn mindsets about love relationships and started to cherish myself. I started to believe that not all men are the same. That there is one true person that God is also preparing, for me. A man that loves GOD above everything and will never compromise himself and his life for countless things.

So right now, I'll just enjoy being single and always being dateless because I know there is always a right timing for everything. I believe that it's still not time for me to think about that right now. I know that HE has sooooo much in store for me. I need to grow in the ministry and learn how to love others above myself first. I need to learn how to give and serve others. I need to grow and reach out.

In conclusion, DATING is not compulsary and it's not even a need. It's unnecessary and it's temporal. So why would you invest in something that you know wouldn't benefit you? Just wait and you will see how GOD will orchestrate all things for your behalf. Don't even think for a second that GOD lacks in the love department. Jesus even died for us remember? What can be more sweeter than that?

A Puzzle I Can't Solve

There's this person who always had an effect on me. I really don't know why, I met him at a time that everything was a mess in my life, I didn't knew God as I know Him now. Everything with him was a blur and a maze that I can't seem to get out of. I got caught with the rush, with the feel of being pursued, yet never outrightly told of what I was in his life. He was a lady-killer, he was flirtatious and had women left and right. Of course I was bothered but withdrawn myself from his mess, I said to myself, "I deserve better!". I didn't want to be his toy and be played around that's why I forced myself out of his situation, I needed to get on with my life and forget him romantically and just be friends. Although, he never really did tell me his feelings, he was still responsible of how he made me feel. He liked to drop hints and remarks that may make me either feel jealous or like him more. It was so unfair,opening my heart for something that might break me.

My friends always said that I was so transparent with my feelings. Without me knowing it, I tend to show my real feelings for a person and that happened, more often than not, with him. Until now, it still amuses me how he really knows me, what makes me pissed, what makes me laugh, what makes me angry, what makes me jealous and what bothers me. He always seem to know how to tap into my emotions and just knew how to use it to bring out an honest reaction from me. It's irritating in a way, how he has that effect on me.

We've been friends for over 2 years now (I think), and I've learned to forget how I felt about him then. I became a christian and God introduced a whole new perspective about things. How I should live my life, how I should treat others and how I should view my love life. For some time now, I have committed myself to stay single (and have a blast) until God will reveal His best man for me and I don't plan to deviate 'coz I know that will also please Him.

Nowadays, I've been seeing this person again and I was surprised to find out that he still has that effect on me (that only he can do). I was shaken for a few moments when again, he hinted his feelings for me. He really is a puzzle that until now remains unsolved. I can't really totally figure him out, I know him somehow, he's really honest to me about other things, even about his past sins and his life before he really surrendered everything to God. But sometimes, I still feel I can't fully trust him and that sometimes I just plainly feel I'm being used whenever he asks a favor and I agreed to help him. I hate that feeling because I know it's not good to feel that for a person, but I just do.

What do I do? I really just lift this friendship to God, I know He is using me for a greater purpose that's why we remained friends all this time. He's now having a rough patch in his life and this is a crucial time for his spiritual friends to encourage and support him. I need to be that person and should not live by my emotions. Being a disciple is really a test of faith, it makes you either draw back because of its difficulties or make you grab God's hand more and more for strength. I choose to respond heavenward, Jesus is faithful.

Passion Cry

I used to walk in darkness
I used to waste away
I used to live by pleasure
I used to live my way


You could've let me suffer
You could've turned away
But You said, "I know you"
"I've summoned you by name"


Now I will live for You
Now I will love
For You are my passion
My heart's satisfaction


I cry out to worship You
I pour out my love for You
Empty me of all I am
Fill me up with your love once again

Disciplining me..

There's this project I'm working on with my church mates. It's for a friend's events and advertising company. Actually, I am privileged to be given a chance to share and contribute whatever I can to make this project excellent. I don't even have a background and prior experience with this field of work, but still I was given this opportunity, plus the fact that it can be a source of extra income for me.

I admit that I was a bit "slacking around" about the idea of it. I was complacently depending on someone to show me the ropes of this whole thing, which resulted to wasted effort and time. I wasn't able to submit anything useful and I compromised the time given to me to really conceptualize and focus on the project.

Last Friday, my friend confronted me (which was actually overdue by then) and asked me if i'm going to be able to pass my portion to him. I was meaning to pass it by then, but i knew it wouldn't make him happy since what I've come up with was far from brilliant. He gave me a deadline, which was yesterday, to come up with something and he said that he will see it from then.

It really dawned on me how I neglect opportunities being thrown my way. Not only that, I'm doing things half-heartedly. My work, in general, doesn't give glory to my King. I may be overtly involved at church, in fellowships and in the ministry but my work, sadly is being overlooked. Then, what my friend said shook me, he said, "Both work and the service to the church are sacred to God" and that "I should always make the most of my time".

I thanked God after that. That He used this person to discipline me and to catch my attention about what I should really work hard on. To achieve balance and peace in my life. Have time for my family and be a good steward, especially in my work and in my finances.

I was reminded of this verse, Proverbs 12:15 "The ways of a foolish man seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice". God supported what He revealed to me with His words too, how blessed I am to be cared like that. I just love Him and I want more and more of Him. I know I won't make it without Him, so I'll just completely rely on Him for strength and endurance.

Hillsong Creative � Blog Archive � WORSHIP THAT MOVES THE HEART OF GOD- BEN FIELDING

Hillsong Creative � Blog Archive � WORSHIP THAT MOVES THE HEART OF GOD- BEN FIELDING

A beautiful blog about the true act of worship.

Love Diaries: Blessing

1. Precious
MEANING: Modern English which means, “Of great worth”
SPIRITUAL CONNOTATION OR CHARACTER QUALITIES: Valuable to God
SUPPORTING SCRIPTURES: Isaiah 28:16 “Therefore thus says the Lord God, see I am laying in Zion a foundation stone, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone, a sure foundation: ‘One who trusts will not panic..”

2. Joy
MEANING: Latin which means, “Joyful”
SPIRITUAL CONNOTATION OR CHARACTER QUALITIES: Follower of Truth
SUPPORTING SCRIPTURES: Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path”

GOD’S BLESSING:
“I bless you with hunger of God. I bless you with the joy of experiencing a fresh taste of the presence and Glory of your God in a decadent culture. I bless you with having a fresh manifestation of the power of God in your day. I bless you with igniting such a measure of hunger and holiness in your family, your community, and your nation that many will experience a visitation of God. I bless you with the extravagant joy of being today’s woman and experiencing a visitation of God in a fresh way in your day and in your time. I bless you in the fullness of the one who fill the hungry.”

Love Diaries: You Are The One

When I see my sorrows
When I feel the pain
When I am discouraged
It’s in You I turn my gaze

When my knees are trembling
Too weak to stand up straight
It’s in You that I hold on to
To carry off the weight

You are the one who makes me strong
You are the one who gave it all
And in the darkest hour I’ll ever face, I will be in faith
For You alone stirs up my soul
You alone can take me home

Lost Cause

Just read a friend’s blog. I wasn’t tagged or anything, but it caught my attention because it was about our friend who just gave up his career as a nurse to start bible school. My friend described it as somewhat admirable of him, something that he can never do or can’t see himself doing because he said that he’s lost in this world, walking aimlessly and wandering in uncertainty.

It just struck me how there are so many lives out there being lived without a purpose. They feel empty and useless, though they go through life’s everyday routine, they still feel as if they’re robots in autopilot. Nothing new happens and spontaneity is a lovely surprise that just occasionally jump starts their catatonic lives. Success may be evident outwardly but in reality, hope and joy is ebbing away. This is a pitfall that anyone can get into. A prison cell that no one wants to visit. A LOST CAUSE.

If you feel you’re on the verge of breaking down, giving up or trashing your life away because of problems weighing you down

OR

You feel unreal, empty and too nonchalant about almost everything. You simply don’t care and you feel your life is just passing by without you knowing it

just like what my friend wrote:
“My deliverance is far-fetched, just as I would rather think and do none of it. Still afraid this box would entirely collapse if I make, even just a tiny hole.”

I’ll say:
“NO!! No to feeling of being lost and walking aimlessly. No to being caged and being trapped in my comfort zone. No to a life not served.”

Life is a quest to find one’s purpose. Seek and search. Find why you were made and when you find it, never let it go. Run with vigor and with the drive to accomplish your cause.

The Bible says in Jeremiah 33:3:
“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know”

Where will we find our purpose? To the one who created us.
It may sound corny or weird to some, but it’s true. No one can answer our questions but God.
He holds the future. He holds the key to life.

You Are Called

You wonder what your purpose is?
Why am I created?
Why do I breathe?
Why is there a sense of something bigger than myself?
Why do I feel I am being led to something majestic?

Because you really are made for something. You have been called. You have been chosen. You have been separated and there’s no one in this planet created to accomplish the task God has laid for you to do.

“He is the caller, the one responsible to make YOU, the one He called, HEAR”

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. You are called by name.

You may think you’re just cut out to accomplish menial and unsignificant tasks, but NO, there is always a PLAN. And YOU have a big part to play, for the advancement of God’s kingdom. For His glory to shine.

The bible says:

“This is what God the Lord says - He who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and all that comes out of it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it”

“I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.”

“I am the Lord; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols. See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you.” Isaiah 42:5-9

God has a call on your life. When you are called and appointed to the service God has for you, you become a candidate to receive the anointing of God. But the anointing just doesn’t happen. You must be ready.

Ephesians 4:11-13:
“It was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ”


When you fully prepare to be a vessel for God’s anointing, you will move moment by
moment in God’s glory, and the power of God will be with all that you do.

YOU who HEAR:

Don’t let your ears be dull, don’t let your eyes be blind, don’t let your heart be afraid. For God will EQUIP, He will PREPARE and He will take you to greater depths you’ve never dreamed before.

He Answers

You may be waiting for confirmation or answer to a particular prayer in this time of your life.

It may be in your career, “Will I let go of this job?” or “Will I take this job instead?”.
It may be in your love lfie, “Will I say yes/no?”, “Will I pursue him/her?”
It may be in your location, “Will I go abroad or not?”
It may be in your finances, “Will I invest in this or not?”, “Will i spend for this?”
It may be in your business, “Will I venture this offer or not?”
It may be any critical decision you have to make that will definitely change your life and you don’t know what to do. You’re scared of failing and not going the right way.

OR

For some, prayers of salvation for the people they love most, spiritual growth, maturity, a house for the family, a car, a chance to save up in a bank, and overall success in life. An opportunity that would jumpstart your life and these are not just those”i’ll-go-ahead-with-i

t-for-now-let’s-see-if-it-works” moments, but these are your deepest desires, the things you’ve been kneeling down for, your biggest ambitions and the things you’re most passionate about.

Sometimes we even mock God and just demand His promises to happen at once. We complain and we grumble because we don’t get much or others get more even if we work harder. We compare ourselves to others who we think are so much more blessed than we are. But even if God has a choice to teach us a lesson for our impatience and lack of trust, still, “HE ANSWERS”.


HABBAKUK SAID THIS:

“I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; will look to see what He will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint.

THE LORD’S ANSWER: Then the Lord replied:

“Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so whoever reads it may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.” Habbakuk 2:1-3

As stated in Hillsong United’s ‘You’ll come’


“As surely as the sun will rise You’ll come to us. Certain as the dawn appears.”


He answers, we may doubt any person on this earth, but we should never doubt our God. He will come.

Crossroads:Revealed

A crossroad is a place of decision and God has been generous enough to let us have freedom to decide on which path we want to choose.

This season of my life calls for a lot of major decision-making and I struggle because although there are many opportunities milling around,I don’t know what to choose. Recently I got to go to New Life’s Life Conference and God just touched me and helped me find the answer.

I was so busy in ministry work, in singing and in fellowships that though nothing is wrong about it, I’m beginning to neglect my quality time with my Creator. It just struck me that the first day I attended the conference, the pastor talked about crossroads,a topic so timely for me. He spoke of people always running around, struggling to know God’s will in their situations that they forget to focus on God. I guess that’s what I’ve been doing already, I keep on wanting to know what to do,yet I don’t get to meditate on His word as much as I should. I’ve been worrying of life’s pressures that I forgot how to rest in Him when the bible says that:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I ill give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Decisions we make should be led by the Spirit of God.When He speaks into your life, He makes it certain that you will know and being the Caller, He has the responsibility to let the one He called hear. I was also greatly encouraged when the pastor spoke these lines:

“Don’t be moved by your need, don’t be moved by your circumstance, don’t be moved by your opportunity, but be moved by God”

We should also find comfort in Jesus’ experience when He still walked on earth, that even when tempted by the devil to forget His cause, He still chose the CROSS-road and was obedient to death for the salvation of all. And as co-heirs with Christ, we are instructed that:

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Mark 8:34

Jesus, when saying this, did not intend to challenge us to take up the cross He carried because that would have been impossible. But He wants us to take up OUR own cross, the purpose why we exist, the purpose why we are here.

Do you want to know your purpose? Come to Him and rest in Him and you will see that:

“Our purpose is connected to His purpose”

But it’s really hard to do or know the right thing to do and sometimes we make stupid judgements. But through His grace we are redeemed from any shortcoming or error. We are liberated from our past and we can start anew. Be encouraged by Him and know that:

“YOUR MISTAKES DOES NOT DEFINE YOU, IT IS THE LOVE OF GOD THAT DEFINES YOU.”

And never let your focus waver and be swayed around, but:

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the thrown of God” Hebrews 12:2

Crossroads

I feel mixed-up, confused and don’t know where to go. I have laid out my plans and goals ahead of me and before, everything seemed so smooth and fast. Maybe that is why I’m learning this lesson now, that though I may have planned out most things in my life especially my career, things may happen unexpectedly. Now I am faced with radical options on how should I go on, of what career step I should choose. Is it to go to a job with high compensation with a long contract? a job at sea? a job in another country?

So many questions are haunting me, literally I can relate to Devoted by Citipointe Live’s line saying “I’m running with blinded eyes, faith as my guide, let your love take flight”. I am dragged back and forth to roads unsure. I am in faith that no amount of fear will rule me, no gravity of desperation and urgency will leave me to make dumb decisions on my own. I know Jesus will meet me at the crossroads, take my hand, and lead me to the right path.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Be a Temple-dweller and a Gaze-returner

Are you getting cold in your faith and in your passion to seek God?
Are you tired of praying and reading His word?
Are you afraid that He will not come through for you in this time of need?
Are you losing the drive to serve Him?
Are you getting weak and about to give up?
Are you doubting and questioning Him?
Are you tempted to go back to your old life and your wicked ways?

DON’T LET THE ENEMY SPEAK LIES INTO YOUR LIFE.

Anything that discourages, hinders spiritual growth, brings envy and any malicious or unkind word or thought does not come from God. So repel it and use the powerful and delivering word of God:

”..Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of the evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:10-17

Being front-liners make us the primary targets of the enemy. The devil will trigger our weaknesses and tempt us beyond measure, while this is a fact, this doesn’t override God’s sovereignty, power and strength. He will guide us and will protect us. He will always provide a way out. He will overcome.

Let your heart be comforted by His mercy. Let your confidence lie in His wonderful grace. Let your life shine with God’s unconditional love.

Make a decision to worship Him. To praise Him when you wake up and when you lie down. To make everyday a pleasing sacrifice unto Him and let your hearts be like David when he said this:

“One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.” Psalm 27:4

Becky Lucas of Citipointe Live said this “What does God wants from us? To return the same gaze of love to Him”. To reciprocate the same way He sees us, treasures and values us. Is it going to be hard? YES, because there’s going to be so many things that will happen in our lives that would make us want to go the other way. But when you don’t know any more what to do, stop and be reminded of what the Lord said:

“Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10

And as a spiritual family, as brothers and sisters in Christ: Build up one another.

Let our goal be to:

“Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; Say to those with fearful hearts, ‘Be strong, do not fear; Your God will come with vengeance; with divine retribution, He will come to save you.” Isaiah 35:3-4

Ode to an Angel

You’re a cynic. I said it to you outright. You believed in all good things once upon a time, but somehow over time you’ve let go of trusting the positive side of life and opted for reverse psychology; that when you expect the worst in life, then you’ll not expect too much, hurt too much, or feel like a failure too much. And that seems okay for a time if you intend to use a defense mechanism to go through life but the more I get to know you, the more I want you to do better than that. Life is beautiful, you just have to look at it in a different light.

We’re weirdly the same in many things, our passion for books, movies, t.v. series, food, sweets, ICE CREAM and we’re also both insomniacs. We are dreamers and we dream big. We are fashion addicts and we both love shoes. We’re linked and we were destined to meet. You know why I think that? Because I strongly believe you need an angel. I’m not saying that I look like an angel, but I’m doing THE part.

Recently, we got to read our journals aloud to each other and that’s when I proved that you really feel alone and empty most of the time. That’s when I wasn’t able to resist from reading mine out loud and told you how I get by everyday with a smile, because I am driven by love. I even joked that you should be writing things like this, “Today I woke up with a huge smile in my face thinking that today’s going to be a beautiful day, while the sunlight is peaking through the blinds”. We laughed a lot about it, but I really hoped in my heart that you will utter these same words soon.

Life is tough. That is a fact. We are so blessed to be in the place we are in right now. We have our career, our own money, you have A GREAT SELECTION OF MAKE-UP. Haha, I can’t help but include that one. But seriously, we have a great life, inspite of the ups and downs we experience, even besides the fact that we have family issues.

I want to inspire you more. Push you more and even scold you when you need it, just so that you’ll realize that you don’t need to try so hard to please others. Yes, it matters when the people who’s dragging you down are the people you really care about, but as I’ve told you, “Don’t hate the person, Hate what he did” and that, “Problems are constant, but how you respond to it is what really matters”. It’s also good to think about what others keep on telling about you, though some are targeted as insults or criticisms, you still have to evaluate if some are true in some way so that you’ll improve as a person. Remember you were cut out to be:

A FIGHTER. A WINNER.
PLAY THE PART ALWAYS.

You said that when you met me it stirred a hunger for God. I thought that that’s the best thing I could ever possibly give you. I love you friend and I want you to be reminded that our religion won’t save us and at the end it’s going to be our relationship with God that will count and nothing else. I pray to God that you’ll come out of these problems you are facing shining and smiling. Do you know why you were called “ANGEL” in the first place? So you can bring light to anyone that will come your way.

Losing Control

Someone very close to my heart is really losing it!! She’s lost, really.. I can see through her even if she remains silent and secretive. She does what she wants regardless of the people around her. She simply doesn’t care at all. I don’t really know if she’s far worse than she was before but from what I’m seeing she’s wallowing in drunkenness, disappointments and failures. I’m sad looking at how she lives her life, wasting away her body and her soul. Giving little bits of herself in wrong relationships, wrong crowd and wrong life choices. She let’s everybody else in except us. She keeps to herself. She doesn’t show emotion except the smile or the nonchalance plastered in her face most of the time. She listens but just let the words come out in her other ear. She’s losing control and I hate to see the day she will be awakened by an unforgettable experience that God will orchestrate to shake her. I’m afraid for her. I’m crying out for her to be delivered from the pit she’s in.

I hope that in despair she’ll turn to You and not in the world. Please help her find her way back. Please tug at her stone-cold heart and break the wall covering it. Please drag her back Lord. You are in control. It’s all up to you now.

Surrendering Independence

Do you know how It feels when you’re mom or dad gives you “THE TALK”?? It may be anything concerning you that they already deemed necessary to discuss. They usually start it out by going to your room with a stern or straight face, closes the door, takes a deep breath and begins with the seemingly-eternal-conversa

tion?? Well, guess what? I had one of those moments last night with my mom. SURPRISED? I guess not! I saw that one coming.

It’s been a month now that I wasn’t able to give money because of my (I hate to admit) extravagant spending. Some were spent wisely and others on things I’m not very proud of. Don’t get me wrong, I tithe religiously and all but I guess when you expect to budget your money well, that’s not going to be enough.

Bottom line is:

I SPEND MORE THAN I CAN AFFORD

Which is SO unfair to me when I sulkily think about it even though logic tells me that it’s just REALISTIC. There are so many things all of us can’t afford, yet we still opt to push it. Even if we buy a high-end gadget, almost immediately a newer model comes out that is beyond our reach. And that happens to all kinds of stuff but still, people just doesn’t seem to have enough.

I AM A VICTIM (OR GUILTY) of…

Overspending
Impulsive Buying
Extravagant Dining

I always FAIL to budget. Sometimes (before it was always!) I end up borrowing money. I don’t get to save up and it’s really been my struggle for a long time now.

I ALWAYS TRY, THEN I TRY EVEN HARDER, BUT I ALWAYS SEEM TO FAIL

It dawned on me that I will never make it on my own. I will always fail at some point. The fact that I’m human makes me destructible and imperfect. Even if I try more and more to be independent and mature in my life, I’ll never have assurance that everything will be smooth-sailing and perfect. Not only in financial, but soon I’ll have other concerns too. Surely, there will always be trouble looming ahead.

MY RESPONSE:
I need a savior.
I need to surrender.
To give up independence and admit vulnerability.

Screw PRIDE. Invite HUMILITY.

Truthfully, failure humbles people. And with all my unsuccessful attempts to rouse myself from my struggles, I am now raising the white flag. I will admit DEFEAT. I am a LOSER, but I am always a WINNER in Christ. I am a FAILURE, but I am always a VICTOR in Him. I am NOTHING, but I am EVERYTHING with Him. I am surrendering my life and choosing to have dependence ONLY to the one who saved, the one who shed blood, and the one who was nailed to the cross.

1 N

When Love Takes Over

Love is really my thing. In every form. It inspires me. It brings me to life. I feel passion when I love. It keeps me going. I AM RICH with love. I can give out what I receive. I can express it. It compels me to move forward. It overcomes offense. It makes me retrace my steps and say sorry to those I have wronged. It convinces me to forgive. I love LOVE. God is LOVE. So I am in no position to ‘not love’. For knowing that my master is “LOVE” Himself, I can never go through life without it. So I press on when in doubt. I live. I breathe. I utter thanks because everyday I can SMILE. I can joke. I can shake my head when I’m getting too full of myself. I can laugh my problems off. I have peace in my heart. I know that everything will fall into its perfect place because I am driven by LOVE.

2 NOTES

When things don't go as planned

Some people are bound in a certain routine that weaves their lives. Some are happy go-lucky people who just go with the flow and always let the chips fall where they may. Some are a bit of both having certain aspects planned and some areas preferred spontaneously done. I, for one, enjoy being spontaneous but still having set goals for the future.

Recently, I have come to the conclusion that somehow I’m experiencing DELAY. If you think about it, it’s kind of annoying being delayed, because obviously I have to wait some more (my views about waiting stated in my previous entry) and of course there’s still a minute amount of uncertainty ringing around it. My application abroad is currently being reviewed and some of my requirements have been rejected several times. Recently I got a letter again saying that I need to revise my documents and somehow the thrill of submitting files, the excitement of knowing the next step seemed to fade more and more over time.

I just remembered an instance when a friend (who was also a nurse) knew that I was applying abroad, told me that personally, he doesn’t desire to go the same way I planned to and asked a very interesting question to me, “Is it really your heart to go abroad?” and I really don’t know why at that time I wasn’t able to answer immediately. But I said “Yes”, it always has been and still is, but now I wonder why I doubted at that time.

It’s one thing for the external stuff to be messed up or don’t go the way you want it to be but it’s another thing to have the internal stuff mixed up as well. I’m not convinced that I’m totally shaken with this thought because helping my parents and growing in my career has always been my goal. But seriously, I’m wondering what is God’s purpose for delaying us, or rather why He is giving us more time.

Is it for me to think more about my decisions? Is it for me to re-evaluate my future? Is it for me to really ponder on my priorities?

Do you sometimes feel you want your plan to succeed as fast as possible because you need it, because it will secure you and it will provide for your family? You want to get over with the must-haves so you can get on with the “other-slightly-neglected-passions”?

The other day at work during a benign moment, my co-workers and I talked about “Where will you be if you’re not a nurse?”. Some said “I’ll be doing business”, “I want to be a traveler”, “I want to try photography”, “I want to be a painter” and the likes. When it was my turn to answer, they said, “You want to be a singer?” and I said, “Maybe, at church!” then I said, “Full-time ministry?” or I thought maybe join Real Life Foundation or any institution seeking to help more and more people.

It is true that “FOREVER IS COMPOSED OF NOWS” as stated by John Green. When your now changes, your future shift gears. At present, I sometimes feel that I am doing what I’m doing or I want to go abroad as fast as possible, so I can come back here right away to start with my ultimate passions. Sometimes, or most of the time, the academic sphere overshadows the artistic sphere, or whatever it is you really love to do; your passion for cooking, singing, painting, acting, writing and so on. Simply because the academics, in general, generates more income than the arts which is so overrated for me. At the end of the day, it boils down to life’s stability and security based on MONEY and sometimes this gets tiring. Personally, I feel that this is not how life’s supposed to be.

So now, regardless of whatever this unpredictability and delay means, I’m choosing to live my life not anchoring it in the comfort or the convenience that riches may bring. I want to defy others’ view of sensibility by going for the things I am passionate about. I no longer want to go with the flow, but I am going to make my own current. Definitely, I will find out what He’s telling me and what He wants me to do. Most especially, I am deciding to anchor my life to my one true King, my refuge and my strength. JESUS.

WHAT IS THE “ONE TRUE THING” YOU KNOW YOU’RE SET ON THIS EARTH TO DO?

In a blink of an eye, I can say “To be a worshiper”

We are discussing John Ortberg’s “If you want to walk on water, You’ve got to get out of the boat” in our small group since last week, and it has been really amazing how He has revealed Himself to us on how He wants us to live our lives.

Peter, despite the life-threatening storm, when He saw Jesus’ form walking on water in the blurred horizon, asked, “If it’s you Jesus, COMMAND ME TO COME TO YOU.” He didn’t ask for a PROMISE, rather, he asked for an opportunity to go EXTREME FOR GOD, to go out of the security and stability of the boat and do what the world thought was IMPOSSIBLE… to WALK ON WATER, or in other words, completely surrender realistic perspectives and go extremely crazy, faithful and focused on Jesus. Yet in a few steps of victory, he staggered and saw THE WIND, that’s when he felt himself sinking and did what all of us do in crises, he cried out for help and Jesus reached a hand to pull him up saying, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”. He did not say this to shame Peter (the boat by this time, with the other 11 disciples were quite far away), but simply to address the issue, that He lost focus.

All of us have different God-given gifts allotted just for us to have. Somehow, some gifts are more evident and highly visible than the others, but regardless of this fact, the same thing happens to all of us. At the end of your life, He will ask you, “WHAT DID YOU DO WITH WHAT I GAVE YOU?”. What will your answer be? Did you stepped out of your comfort zone and maximized your potentials? or did you just sit back and relaxed, became one of the boat potatoes like the other disciples became, and just let your life pass by without ever taking risks?

Now, do not thwart the plans the LORD OF THE GIFT laid in store for you. Do not disappoint Him. Our lives were made and crafted for us to be tested, challenged and deliberately pushed to our limits, for us to realize the full extent of what we can really do. Be an explorer. Be a risk-taker. Be bold, yet not foolish. Be wise and God-seeking. Though others or even YOU may think you’re not good enough, or you’re efforts may not account for much, God is saying NO to this assumption.

HE CAN TAKE EVERY EFFORT YOU HAVE TO OFFER AND MAKE IT COUNT FOR ETERNITY

He didn’t make a mistake when He gave you your gifts. He knows what he was doing. He was certain when He made you.

Fear Cripples

It makes me wonder how some people are so afraid to take chances. It’s seen everywhere, some people pass up the opportunities that come their way just because of fear to not “perform” well, or because of the fear of “failure”. I know it not because I hear about it, but, I too was a slave of fear once. Some don’t take the leap of faith to do that one thing they like to do or want to have, just because of inhibitions. They’ve seen the signs, they’ve weighed every angle, they’ve reviewed the pros and cons and yet they still hold back. Why? Because the world of rejection and failure is a scary place to be in.

To dream is every person’s nature, it’s what drives every person to pursue life and achieve their aspirations. Life is a risk, if you don’t go out of your comfort zone in an attempt to protect yourself and to stay in a place you can control, you won’t know what could’ve been. What ifs are questions you would hate to ask yourself in the future because in the end, you’ll never know the answer.


The uncertainty of the future is vivid and clear, but what do you do? You embrace it. Make every moment count. Make your future the decision you make today. Take the path that will lead you there. Don’t be passive and fantasize about it but never making a step towards it. You may be hurt, you may stumble, you may fail. But guess what? It's worth it. When you know you made every effort to do it right, to stand up for what you believe in, to seek God in every situation you are in. Your forever happens now.


Fear cripples. It makes us stand where we are, while wondering, stepping forward, stepping backward. It delays. It hinders. Don’t patronize it, don’t let it overcome, don’t let it win. We may be weak on our own, but God’s strength is powerful. His grace is abundant, let this fact seep in and let it break the fear in you. Break free.

How do I love thee?

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, —- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! —- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

_____________________________________________________

How can I not recognize? How can I not know? How can I resist?

I tried to forget, I tried to leave it buried, I tried to ignore the feeling..

I feel afraid, I feel happy, I feel unworthy…

How do I love thee? With God’s love definitely..

Will it hurt? Will I be put to shame? Will I be laughed at?

I wish him well, I wish for his joy, I wish for his peace..

Will I take the risk? will I remain in the dark?

The Truth about God's Promises

Last night, Pastor Julius preached about a powerful and prophetic message. It’s about God’s promises for us. Apparently there are 7,000 promises found in the bible, while in some versions there are 13,000 in total. Isn’t it amazing how abundant God’s promises are? But still, the question remains, are all those promises for me? Which one is for me? How will I know if what God is saying in this passage for me?

Pastor Julius highlighted key factors in determining God’s promises for each of us, these are:

1. His promises are conditional

“If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all His commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God.” Deuteronomy 28:1-2

The accomplishment of His promises depend on how we live our lives. Many people choose to chase after the blessings, they are consumed by getting filthy rich that’s why they jump into every opportunity that comes along. When in fact, the bible says, if you set your heart to honor Him in your life, the blessings will chase after you and will even accompany you wherever you go.

2. He gives specific promises

“I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses.” Joshua 1:3

In here, God is giving assurance that we can claim, as His people, the promises that He so willingly gave us. He’s giving us the freedom to rule, to have authority, and to savor the fullness of His blessings. But sometimes people misinterpret this and uses it to do whatever they please. They distort its meaning and uses it as a rally cry to seek whatever they want in life, not so much wondering if its God’s will for them.

Rather, God made it specific for us to understand that there are certain boundaries we should consider.

“Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” Psalms 16:5-6

Every person has his own lot, territory, economy and industry that has been given to him. It can be in the field of music, business, trade, commerce, medicine etc., each one of us has our own gifts and talents that illuminates the work that we do. The boundaries fall around the place God has situated you to be in, where you’re at right now, the people you have an influence in, the field of work you’re involved with, the talents and skills you have gained and received. Then you can apply God’s statement about how you can set your foot at anything, but just within your boundaries. The sky’s the limit, God will bless you immeasurably.

3. He gives promises we don’t deserve

“So I gave you a land on which you did not toil and cities you did not build; and you live in them and eat from vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant.” Joshua 24:13

God is too good that He blesses His people not depending on what we do and how we live our lives. The truth is, when you look back to your past, even before we knew Him, He already loved us and blessed us anyway.

4. He fulfill all His promises

“Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.” Joshua 21:45

God is faithful to His promises, He fulfills, He moves, He comes with power.

“God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and does not fulfill?” Numbers 23:19