Plight to Platonic Friendship

Everything was brought to the open. He's not so much as an "emotions" person, he really tries to hide it most of the time. Sometimes I feel a mask is always upfront. But he claimed that I was the one closest to him. That I know him the most, he said. I was perplexed though, relieved in the same sense, that he thinks of that. How odd, I thought he always kept secrets and just lets it creep out momentarily. I was important he said and he confessed his feelings, which was like almost 3 years delayed. And finally, he said what he was after in this relationship. FRIENDSHIP. Despite the fact that he gives mixed signals before, that he seems to care a tad little more about my romantic experiences and that he's not the type that when we're together, I can totally let my guard down as I would with a "super" friend.

He said I was his only "BESTFRIEND" ever. Hmmm... that's a first. I never felt that, but hey, he's just that way, not letting everyone in. So it was like lifting a HUGE, i mean HUMONGOUS boulder out of my shoulders. CLARITY is important right? Now I can put my guard down. Now I can breathe normally around him, because I already know we're just friends. He said he liked me a lot, but doesn't trust himself to pursue me, 'coz he's still not totally over his "player" potential. He doesn't want to lose me, he said. I really appreciated it, that he respects me. He really turned out to be a real friend over the years, regardless of the attraction between us.

I told him to drop the mixed signals, to never go beyond the boundaries of friendship in all aspects, even in words. Currently, it's about our "PLIGHT TO PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP", hope someday I can return the favor of calling him my REAL friend (meaning no romanticism involved) and maybe even recognize him as a best friend too. It's really going to be a challenge to shift gears here, c'mon! But I will do it. Not because I was hurt that he didn't pursued me, but because it will basically let go of a lot of complications in my life. I really need to focus on more important things right now, like GOD and what He wants me to do. There are seasons and timing for everything. Now is plainly, not the time for that. I'll get there when it's time. :)