Hope

"Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
For I will yet praise Him,
My Savior and my God"
Psalm 42:5-6

Our physical strength may fail us. We may be sick and there are going to be times when we will feel weak.

Our emotional being may be so gloomy and so disturbed that we can't even think straight anymore.

Our life may be in a mess. A trap that holds us and binds us from total freedom. Everything may be wrong at the moment and you don't know how to escape and how to go on.

You may be on the verge of giving up right now, but the word of GOD says that we should put our HOPE in HIM who already overcame the world, past, present and forever. He's the only One we can hold on to, the only One we can depend on. Let go and let God take the reins, let Him be God.

Lovestruck

I just finished a LOT of romance movies lately, and it's been really overwhelming my head. LOVE, a many splendid things, just like how it was said in Moulin Rouge. It's a way of life. Everyone, one way or another deals with it, feels it, hurts because of it and sometimes even feels trashed being controlled by it.

LOVE is inevitable. It's like the air brushing over your face. Like the sand that never fades in the beach. Like the clouds that hovers above in the sky. It's something unseen. It's a personal experience. It's one thing you own. People always try to define it without even capturing the true essence of its existence. It's like pain in so many ways, no one can ever dictate you how to feel LOVE.. until you experience it yourself. It nullifies mistakes, justify actions, and explains madness. It makes you plunge into something you've never thought about first. Sometimes it's more emotions than sanity. For some, it's their anchor, one thing they constantly hold on to for survival. It complicates things and makes you feel extraordinary. It makes you human.

It never chooses. It just flares up sometimes. It's even inconvenient in so many ways than one. It drives you. It inspires you. It puts a smile to your face. Some days, it makes you want to throw up. Bad relationship? It makes you put up with sacrifice, loneliness and even violence in some people.

In reality, it gets distorted sometimes. It becomes an obsession. It becomes your purpose. You forget yourself and get to do stupid things sometimes. It overrides backgrounds, bad images and opposing parents. You feel on edge and dangerous sometimes. You feel rebellious and it somehow makes you alive for the very first time in your life. It's exhilarating. It's wonderful.

But enough with my brave attempt to describe how love unfolds for some people. It'll be a breath of fresh air knowing from the expert of LOVE:


"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

It's gonna be really hard following this guideline. But knowing from the truth will actually make your LOVE more authentic. It will count for more. It will radically change your life. It will start to mean more than before. It will make it more exciting, dynamic and fresh. It's a process and it's a challenge. More importantly, it will help your LOVE gain "FOREVER".

One Way

yeah i know it’s one way.. you don’t have to rub it in. this is not the right time to be out-of-focus, so i guess i’ll just slowly withdraw. this may weird you out, but i really don’t have any responsibility to explain to you. things don’t really go as they seem.

The wrong side of you

I don't know what you're thinking,
I don't know what you mean.
When you blurt words out with having,
Ambiguity between.

You say one thing,
You do the other,
I can't seem to comprehend.
If sincerity's really in there,
Or just another tale you tell.

You make me feel you like me,
You make me feel I'm missed.
But in the end, you make me feel
T'was just momentary bliss.

Make me see the bright light,
Of what's truly real to you.
That I may go beyond the breach,
Beneath the wrong side of you.

Breakthroughs

BLESSINGS! BLESSINGS!
So many things I want to thank about! Though sometimes there are stuff going on that are not good, I still continue to be thankful because despite problems, I am still blessed.

1. Small Group (victory group)
Just last month we had the "One" Series at church which basically propelled church members to step forward, be a disciple, make a disciple and start a small group. I started a small group and poof! The next thing I knew, from 2 members only, it grew to 7 members! I was really surprised last Sunday when I led my small group and we practically filled 2 tables. It never fails to make me smile whenever I remember that sight.

2. Transformation
Everyone's a work in progress, I, myself, included. It just amazes me how God is really not satisfied of just letting me be, He allows both good and bad things to happen to me to test my character. To make me realize important things, especially factors in my life I have to submit and let Him be in control of. Sometimes I feel sad and disappointed in myself for my failures and flaws, but at the end of the day, I am glad, because I know there's always room for change. I am expectant of how HE will continue to transform me into a better person.

3. Family
This one gets me so high! Finally, my family's regularly attending church!!! Although my little sis' still not consistent and my ate just attended once. I am in faith that it's just a matter of time. Prayer works!! My parents are getting active and now, they both have their own small groups and both are going through 1 to 1. I get so ecstatic when I see them reading their bibles. GOD You are faithful as always!


These are just some of the things I am so thankful of. No matter what, when someday I'll be downcast and dragged because of pain or suffering, I'll always look back to how GOD worked in my behalf. How HE stands with me no matter what.

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Pressure

I feel the pressure!!!
Sometimes it gets to me...
I just shut my mouth on other occasions,
Sometimes I rationalize,
You shouldn't expect me to jump in a situation,
That I know is not right for me.
For the sake of wealth and prosperity.
I don't want to settle for less.
I also don't like being a pushover.
I'm an adult, I know how life works.
If I don't work, I'll starve
I also know that I'm not rich
Seriously...
I know I still have nothing much to offer.
I still don't have much.
Still can't support as much as I would want to.
But I love you.
I'll get there.
I'm willing.
To help, to provide, to give.
But now..
I'm doing my best.
I know sometimes I fail you.
You say I'm irresponsible.
But I will be responsible.
Greater is in me than that of in the world.
I am a work in progress.
I will change for the better.

Dating

Just finished watching "The Back-Up Plan" with J.Lo and Alex Loughlin as lead stars. A good movie!! Wow! Stan (Alex) really loved Zoe (J.Lo)!!! Enough, that he took the responsibility of the twins Zoe was carrying in her womb. Maybe when it's love, it's love! Just going mushy here.. haha.

Love thoughts (not the platonic kind), running through my mind. Just finished a korean "love comedy" series yesterday that's why I'm so into the "love mood". Anyway, I've always been a hopeless romantic, always a fan of love stories and happy endings. Though some, choose to be negative about true love, I've never been one of them. I always believed in it. One man that will sweep you off your feet! Just wait for that person God has designed to be with you..

Before, I was also caught with the "dating scene" and "playing the field" season. I just had 1 boyfriend ever, that's why I felt I needed to have more boyfriends, so that I can gain more experiences in the love department. Thank God, I've never been the "player" kind, I love being single and never understood why people turned out to depend wholly to their partners for support. But there was a time in my life that I dated, for no reason at all. But eventually, it never worked out for me, since I'm the steady-kind-of-girlfriend type. Maybe, before, I can put on the act of being cool and not so serious when it comes to relationships, but I guess the the truth just went shining through.

Well, now, I've learned my lesson. I've made mistakes before. After a time, I began to resent dating. It was such a waste of time and effort. I didn't really get to know the guys I've dated and they really turned me off because they expected too much from me!!! You know what I mean.. that was when I thought, "are all men like this?". Good thing I was never clingy and was always independent. I don't need a man if I know that he's not really the one for me.

And then.. I MET GOD. The only one I needed to fill the empty void in me. I had to unlearn mindsets about love relationships and started to cherish myself. I started to believe that not all men are the same. That there is one true person that God is also preparing, for me. A man that loves GOD above everything and will never compromise himself and his life for countless things.

So right now, I'll just enjoy being single and always being dateless because I know there is always a right timing for everything. I believe that it's still not time for me to think about that right now. I know that HE has sooooo much in store for me. I need to grow in the ministry and learn how to love others above myself first. I need to learn how to give and serve others. I need to grow and reach out.

In conclusion, DATING is not compulsary and it's not even a need. It's unnecessary and it's temporal. So why would you invest in something that you know wouldn't benefit you? Just wait and you will see how GOD will orchestrate all things for your behalf. Don't even think for a second that GOD lacks in the love department. Jesus even died for us remember? What can be more sweeter than that?