Surrendering Independence

Do you know how It feels when you’re mom or dad gives you “THE TALK”?? It may be anything concerning you that they already deemed necessary to discuss. They usually start it out by going to your room with a stern or straight face, closes the door, takes a deep breath and begins with the seemingly-eternal-conversa

tion?? Well, guess what? I had one of those moments last night with my mom. SURPRISED? I guess not! I saw that one coming.

It’s been a month now that I wasn’t able to give money because of my (I hate to admit) extravagant spending. Some were spent wisely and others on things I’m not very proud of. Don’t get me wrong, I tithe religiously and all but I guess when you expect to budget your money well, that’s not going to be enough.

Bottom line is:

I SPEND MORE THAN I CAN AFFORD

Which is SO unfair to me when I sulkily think about it even though logic tells me that it’s just REALISTIC. There are so many things all of us can’t afford, yet we still opt to push it. Even if we buy a high-end gadget, almost immediately a newer model comes out that is beyond our reach. And that happens to all kinds of stuff but still, people just doesn’t seem to have enough.

I AM A VICTIM (OR GUILTY) of…

Overspending
Impulsive Buying
Extravagant Dining

I always FAIL to budget. Sometimes (before it was always!) I end up borrowing money. I don’t get to save up and it’s really been my struggle for a long time now.

I ALWAYS TRY, THEN I TRY EVEN HARDER, BUT I ALWAYS SEEM TO FAIL

It dawned on me that I will never make it on my own. I will always fail at some point. The fact that I’m human makes me destructible and imperfect. Even if I try more and more to be independent and mature in my life, I’ll never have assurance that everything will be smooth-sailing and perfect. Not only in financial, but soon I’ll have other concerns too. Surely, there will always be trouble looming ahead.

MY RESPONSE:
I need a savior.
I need to surrender.
To give up independence and admit vulnerability.

Screw PRIDE. Invite HUMILITY.

Truthfully, failure humbles people. And with all my unsuccessful attempts to rouse myself from my struggles, I am now raising the white flag. I will admit DEFEAT. I am a LOSER, but I am always a WINNER in Christ. I am a FAILURE, but I am always a VICTOR in Him. I am NOTHING, but I am EVERYTHING with Him. I am surrendering my life and choosing to have dependence ONLY to the one who saved, the one who shed blood, and the one who was nailed to the cross.

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